I needed space and a slower pace...
Slowly… VERY slowly (like, 10 years slowly)… my relationship with alcohol improved. I started to notice the things that triggered my need for a drink. I started hanging out with new people who didn’t need alcohol to have a good time. I spent more time outside of the city. I started running to take the edge off.
This past July, I finally made an active commitment to decrease my alcohol consumption to… nothing. It hasn’t been terrible for quite a few years, but I could still feel it’s hold on me. So from July 4th until September something or other I completely and HAPPILY quit.
Since then, it’s come back here and there. But not at ALL with the same voracious NEED that was there previously. I do, honestly, find myself enjoying the same situations just as much as before when I needed (yes… needed) alcohol for them.
Until the other night. Very briefly. I got a glimpse of it again...
And it made SO. MUCH. SENSE. I suddenly had a whole new understanding of WHY I was so stuck in this cycle in the past.
When I was in NYC, I was building and working. Building my performance career. Building my teaching studio. Building my bank account. All the while working multiple jobs to support me WHILE I continued building.
Building and building and pushing and pushing myself forward. Always forward. FULL OUT NO MARKING!!
So much so that when I finally got home at night... I STILL had all the admin work for my own businesses to do.
My brain was never allowed to turn off.
Thinking back, I was numbing. Numbing from being overworked. Numbing from the fact that I was anxious ALL. THE. TIME. and couldn’t shut my brain off and actually get a good night’s sleep. And I would drink so that when I HAD to sleep, my head would hit the pillow and I would be out for at least a few hours.
And I ALMOST fell into it last night. Because I’m STILL building.
BUT! This time it’s only for a few weeks. I know when I can take a step back for a second and breathe.
So… I tell you this in the spirit of transparency. I DID have a drink last night.
But just one. A small one (for real though). AND I made a plan. I have rehearsal till 5pm tonight and then I’m done working. I have time tomorrow to get whatever else needs to be done and it is MORE important that I DON’T engage with the current zeitgeist that is HUSTLE.
And I made another commitment to myself.
You’ve probably (hopefully) at this point seen my posts/emails about my “Performance Lifestyle Reset!” coming up Nov. 4. Well here’s a cool thing about it…
I’M GOING TO BE DOING IT WITH YOU!
Not just sitting off on the sidelines telling you what to do. In fact, EVERY time I’ve run this I ALWAYS do it with my participants.
Because it feels crappy to me to not walk my talk. Because I want to be able to empathize with and really HEAR what you're going through and what your difficulties are.
And because I have more to learn too.
This time… I know in my Nutrition section I’ll have “No Alcohol” as one of my goals. To SUPPORT that goal, I’ll have “Meditate or journal twice daily, morning and night” in my Mental/Emotional/Lifestyle section. (If you're lost on the sections bit head here to learn more...)
I have an idea of what will be in the other sections as well, but that one specifically became clear to me last night.
And that’s the point of this reset. To help you COMMIT to the actions you want to take towards a healthier lifestyle AND be able to set OTHER intentions that can support your actions.
So… If you’re interested in my “Performance Lifestyle Reset” after reading this, then check out this video to get more info about it.
Or if you’re just ready to go for it and just need logistics, head HERE to learn more and sign up!
You are worth a balanced lifestyle. We need your creative genius in the world. We need to you SHOW UP fully for your performances. And if there’s something getting in the way of that, this is just the step in the right direction you need to get started making a change.
Write something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview.